I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

MORE BLATANT TROLLING FOR GOOGLE HITS...

From Drudge, Paris Hilton had a brilliant idea of storing the private phone numbers and e-mail addresses of all the celebrities and rich people she knows using a service that is easily accessible to hackers on the Internet.

PARIS HILTON PHONE HACKED; PRIVATE NUMBERS OF STARS FLOOD INTERNET; FBI INVESTIGATES
**Exclusive**
Sun Feb 20 2005 09:39:20 ET

"Private telephone numbers of celebrities have been unleashed on the Internet after an apparent hacking into Paris Hilton's T-MOBILE SIDEKICK Address Book, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

The FBI has opened an investigation into the hack, a government source said.

The DRUDGE REPORT has confirmed the authenticity of many of the unlisted and super-secret numbers: Private phone numbers and email addresses of Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Andy Roddick, Ashlee Simpson, Victoria Gotti, Vin Diesel, Anna Kournikova and many others!

One top star reached Sunday morning expressed total outrage at Paris.

"I gave her my number after we met in Miami, I did not know she f**king kept it on her cellphone!" the star explained.

A website posted the digits over the weekend, with the message: "I'm Sorry Bitch :) GG FGT SLT BTCH! HACKED BY THE NIGGAS AT DFNCTSC"

Also splashed in the hack, Paris Hilton's private notes, listed by date.

From Hollywood to Vegas to New York -- and back, Paris Hilton's notes, road directions, hotel and airline preferences are exposed."

Since I'm sure that there's going to be prosecutions-a-plenty resulting from this, I'm not going to say whether or not I looked at the information, like tens or even hundreds of thousands of other people did, but my anonymous American friend, the one who also watches episodes of South Park a couple of hours after they air in the United States and tells me absolutely everything that happens, read it. Not that he saved any of the information, be it direct from the Notebook itself or re-posted in threads about the Notebooks, he doesn't really care about knowing and he's certainly not going to try contacting the celebrities himself, he was just looking because forbidden information is always tempting.

He found out some shocking things... like how Paris Hilton, when she travels, usually stays at... get this... Hilton hotels! My god, what an incredible development! The hotel heiress stays at the international hotel chain that bears her surname! Whodathunkit?

Also... I don't care about most of the rest of the celebrities (and I can't even hum a song of most of the singers who are apparently on the list), but my American friend knows I like Wes Anderson movies and told me that Luke Wilson, who played "Anthony" in Bottle Rocket and "Richie Tenenbaum" in The Royal Tenenbaums, is among the celebrities. Damn, Luke Wilson seems like such a sweet guy... what's he doing hanging out with cheap rich trash like Paris Hilton? If his brother Owen Wilson were hanging out with Paris... wouldn't surprise me, but Luke? Well, he's not going to like her much now.

And, strangely enough, T-Mail seems to be the free webmail provider of choice of big celebrities. I'd say they are really slumming compared to those of us who use G-Mail now, but maybe they use it for the translation capabilities. (EDIT: Oh, sorry, it's T-Mobile TMail, not the translation mail T-Mail.)

Oh yes, there are a bunch of pictures of Paris lesbian-groping another woman very similar to Margot Tenenbaum's groping of that woman in the Paris apartment in the "Judy is a Punk" flashback montage in The Royal Tenenbaums, from what I understand of course, I mean. Those will be all over the Internet in days.

There are sites with audio of people calling the celebrities, but they're on the boards where people are posting the private information, so I'm not going to link to them. Some of those phone calls will surely be on radio programmes like Howard Stern tomorrow morning anyway.

EDIT: I forgot to insert the joke I thought up: Pat O'Brien's e-mail address is on the list too, which is a little ironic, since anyone who reads it is now an "insider" able to "access hollywood" (well, until they change their phone numbers and e-mail addys). :P

EDIT II: While I'm not the type to prank call celebrities as I respect their privacy and, even if I didn't, I'd be far too shy to do it, just, for the sake of argument, let's say I had the exact same taste in celebrities but I wasn't too shy to actually do anything with the information, the truth is that I'd have no interest in calling or e-mailing pretty much every celebrity on the list with the exception of Luke Wilson, who is one of my favourite young-ish stars in Hollywood. So, yeah, I will admit to wondering what would happen if I tried phoning Luke Wilson's phone number. But, I don't have to wonder anymore because I found a blog entry of some girl named Nancee who did just that. What happened? It had already been disconnected. So, if you want to compliment Luke directly for his fine work in Bottle Rocket, or ask him what he was thinking when he agreed to do Blue Streak, you're out of luck. C'est dommage! (I won't give a link because the entry contains a link to one of the pages with all the phone numbers and e-mail addresses on it.)

posted by Steve Brandon @ 12:51 AM